


Worth It

by Catsmeow



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-15
Updated: 2009-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-04 11:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsmeow/pseuds/Catsmeow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Daniel are forced to share an office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> Although this could be set in any season, I think of it as happening in Season 7. Originally written July 2006

"Hmph"

Daniel looked over at Jack who was frowning at his laptop. Jack's office was being repainted so he was working out of Daniel's lab for the next couple of days. Most of the worktable was covered with the broken pieces of a wall from P98-GT4 which Daniel was reassembling prior to translating. Jack was perched on a stool at the far end of the worktable. His laptop was directly in front of him with papers scattered all around it.

Jack hmph'd again and slapped at a couple of keys. The frown turned into a scowl. Jack grumbled something that Daniel couldn't quite hear but from the tone it was obvious that Jack was not a happy camper. Jack grumbled again, just loud enough for Daniel to hear.

"Scum-sucking butt-monkey."

Ah. Jack was moderately frustrated and annoyed. The more phrases Jack added to the epithet the more frustrated and annoyed he was.

"Flea-bitten, scum-sucking butt-monkey." Jack was a bit louder yet. He stabbed at one key over and over again with his finger.

Key phrases to listen for were "motherless" and "one-eyed". Either one was bad enough but both at once signaled an unavoidable all-out hissy fit. Normally Daniel could slink off to his office and hide until after the meltdown. Not this time. Daniel looked around the room at all the unique and fragile artifacts that filled the room and made his decision.

Using the same neutral tone he usually reserved for large, angry, spear-toting aliens, Daniel said, "Can I help you with something?"

"This stupid spread sheet won't do what it's told." There was a dangerous glint in his eye as Jack glared at his laptop. He grabbed it with both hands.

Thinking of the destruction that one violently hurled laptop could cause, Daniel quickly stepped over to Jack. "Mind if I take a look?" he asked mildly.

Jack twisted the computer so that Daniel could see the screen. "I need all of these cells to refer back to this one or the budgetary analysis won't make sense."

Daniel clicked in a couple of the cells. "I see what's happening. The program defaults to relative reference when a formula is copied. What you need is a static reference." Daniel added some parameters to the formula. "Just code it like this and it'll do what you want." Jack was a quick study so Daniel knew he could fix the rest on his own.

Grinning, Jack slapped him on the back. "Thanks, buddy! I should have asked for your help to start with. Just yesterday I was telling Lieutenant Mellini what an expert you are with these things."

"Lieutenant Mellini?" Daniel was startled.

Jack nodded, still grinning at him. Daniel got the impression that Jack expected him to be pleased.

"Lieutenant Mellini, M.I.T. graduate and head of the entire IT department?" Daniel clarified. There was an unpleasant feeling buzzing around his stomach.

The grin faded somewhat.

"Jack, you can't say things like that about me to the head of the IT Department." He wasn't sure if what he felt was embarrassment or panic. His stomach tightened up a bit and he thought that maybe it was a touch of both.

Jack looked puzzled. "Why not?"

"It's like, like," Daniel waved his hands as he reached for the best words to illustrate what he meant, "like bragging to Michaelangelo about your friend that can finger paint."

"What do computers have to do with finger painting?"

"They don't. That was a metaphor."

"Well, pick a better one. You're a guy. You're supposed to use sports metaphors."

"I don't know any sports metaphors."

"Sure you do. You watch hockey with me all the time. Use something from that."

Daniel sighed. "Okay. You want hockey metaphors? Fine. It's like I'm the guy sitting in the stands and they're the guys on the ice turning hat tricks. I'm not even qualified to sit in the booth while the other guys play."

Jack rolled his eyes. "It's not a booth, it's the penalty box. And hockey players don't 'turn tricks'." Jack gave him a funny look. "You've wandered off into a whole different kind of recreational activity with _that_ phrase."

"I know what the penalty box is. I meant the other place where all the guys who aren't on the ice sit." Daniel frantically searched his memory for anything even remotely sports related. "The, um, the sidelines?"

Jack looked at Daniel in disbelief. "How is it you remember stuff like the name of the third fork to the left of the plate for dinner with King Petunia on Planet McSnooty, but you don't have any idea of what to call stuff on your own planet?"

Daniel crossed his arms and glared at him. It really irked Daniel to have Jack, Master of the Mangled Proper Noun, chiding him for not getting a word right. And doing both in the same breath. Amazing.

For the record, it was King Pat'n'ya on PXB-2T4, although Planet McSnooty certainly fit. The team had been forced to spend a day and a half taking etiquette lessons from disdainful servants before they could see the King. Not surprisingly, Jack had taken a severe dislike to the highly ritualized society. The fork in question was a _driglem_ which was only be used to scoop out the seeds of a specific fruit. He and Jack wouldn't have argued about it if Jack hadn't chosen to show his dislike by deliberately calling it a "spork on steroids" right in front of His Royal Highness _at the formal dinner_. Jack then proceeded to demonstrate its many other uses by stirring his tea with it and using the little pointy tines to pick his front teeth. Daniel thought His Excellency was going to have a coronary. His Excellency's maiden aunt actually fainted.

"It's called the bench, Daniel." Jack pointedly emphasized the words. "The. Bench. You come to my house all the time for hockey night. How can you not know that?" Jack's scowl was back. "Do you even watch the game when you're there?"

Heh. Watching was one thing. Paying attention was another. Daniel kept one arm clamped to his chest and waved his other hand around. "That's not the point!"

"So, that would be a 'no'," muttered Jack.

Daniel ignored him and continued a little louder. "The point is-" Daniel paused. He knew there was a point to all of this but as usual when they talked, he and Jack had taken a hard left turn into Tangentville and it took Daniel a moment to remember what the original point had been. "The point is those guys on the tech staff are experts at what they do. They deal with coding and hardware and servers and all kinds of stuff that I can't even begin to understand. I'm nowhere near that knowledgeable. I just know some of the basics and how to use the programs."

"Shoot, Daniel, you can run rings around me. Look at all those complicated power point presentations you put together. You've got to be really good."

Daniel shook his head. "No, I'm not. You only think so because – " Daniel snapped his mouth shut and stayed quiet. Oooooh, that didn't come out right at all. No way in hell was he going to finish that sentence.

Jack's eyes narrowed and he stared at Daniel. He let the silence build for a bit then quietly said, "I only think so because?" He drew out the last word, inviting Daniel to continue. Daniel didn't say anything but he could feel his cheeks getting pink. "C'mon Daniel. Say it." Jack rolled one hand in a circular motion. "You only look so good because…" Jack waited a moment, one eyebrow raised, then finished the sentence himself. "Because I'm so _bad_?"

Oh yeah. Daniel was definitely blushing. He could feel the heat of it on his face and neck. And he wasn't looking Jack in the eye any more, either. "No, no. I never said that, Jack." He flicked his gaze back to Jack.

"No, you stopped just in time." Jack shrugged. "Well, almost in time." His shoulders drooped and he looked wistful.

Realizing he'd hurt Jack's feelings, Daniel looked him directly in the eye. With all sincerity he said, "I'm sorry, Jack. I really didn't mean to denigrate your computer skills. I only meant to say that I was not in the same league as the IT guys."

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and considered this for a minute. "Apology almost accepted."

"Almost?" It was Daniel's turn to be puzzled. "What do you mean by almost accepted?"

Still keeping his hands in his pockets, Jack bumped Daniel's elbow with his own. "If you were really sorry, you'd buy me a piece of pie."

Daniel smiled in relief. "Sure. I could use a bite to eat."

"Great!"

Jack saved the document on his computer while Daniel shifted his tablet fragments toward the center of the table. As they walked through the door, Jack draped his arm over Daniel's shoulder. "And while we eat, I'll fill you in on everything you should already know about hockey."

Great. Concentrated hockey talk. Daniel smiled as he listened to Jack cheerfully rattle on. Ah well. It was a small price to pay for the pleasure of Jack's company and an office full of unbroken artifacts.

Finis


End file.
